I’m Hayley Berlingeri, Adelaide born and bred, mamma of three, and here I am just finding my way (AKA fumbling!!) through my days with my little ones, trying to be the best version of me that I possibly can be (which more often than not, results in me flopped out on the sofa at 10:34pm eating an entire packet of Mint Slice bickies, and thanking God that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it!)
Before the babes came in to being, I poured my heart into my career as a Junior Primary teacher and JP Coordinating Principal, I travelled the world, near and far, and I solidly slept. But since then have given every waking minute to motherhood and all its mess, mayhem and marvel. Oh, and I love to share our stories in squares on our intsapage!
“I’m about to become a mum! What was it like for you the first time round?”
Estelle, Golden Grove
Hard! So very and so shockingly hard.
You know that hour between night and day, where it’s not one thing or the other? Yep, we all know it, us mums. And, I knew it SO well, and I was SO sick of knowing it. I just wanted to GO. TO. SLEEP. For longer than two seconds. I was desperate to remember what it felt like to wake up after the sun had risen. Even when other mothers who’ve gone before you tell you about the overbearing heaviness of that tiredness, you can never grasp it. You can’t ever understand the monstrosity of it until you’re living it. And I struggled with living it. I remember the day that Paolo went back to work after a month at home with us. It was especially daunting for me. And I secretly wanted to gouge his eyes out because I was so jealous that he was escaping the new nut house and leaving me, ALONE, to try and keep this kid alive! How dare he!!! But I got myself together, new mum bun and all, and I took our teeny 4 week old Valentina for a stroll around the neighbourhood. And screaming so loudly in my head was the thought that I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN TONIGHT!! And the next night. And the one after that. For all eternity!!! And I was hoping (well, to be honest, desperately willing) for some really kind, pretty, motherly kidnapper to come along (you know, an early thirties gal with a jazzy haircut, a good heart, and a longing for a child!) and run away with my baby. I was even going to let her keep my brand spanking new $1500 pram. And all I was going to do was wave them off happily, and with a sigh of ‘good riddance’, turn around, walk back home and drag my sloth-like self into bed and SLEEP!!!! FOREVERRR!!!! All day and all night. I wasn’t even going to call the police. I was just going to go the f*#k to sleep and never speak of the whole ordeal again. And that’s when I knew I wasn’t right. And so I called for an appointment with my GP…but that’s a tale for another time!! So, there’s just a snippet of the sheer overwhelming enormity that becoming a Mum was to me. But, thank God all of that fear, that unknowing, that newness is combated by the instant, indescribable, unfathomable love that the teeny, screaming, not-sleeping bundle brings!
Love Hayley xox
Got a question about life, motherhood or eating chocolate biscuits… I’ll give you an answer! @sweetlittlestory