REBECCA MORSE: I don’t want a lot for Christmas
To quote Mariah Carey, I don’t want a lot for Christmas.
But that’s a Santa-sized lie.
Because I actually want quite a lot.
For a start the only tangible thing on my list is a laundry appliance. When did I get so old and domesticated that I covet appliances?
I’ve asked Father Christmas for a clothes steamer. Because I don’t iron and I dress off a floordrobe so my ensembles are always wrinkled and my children often look decidedly dishevelled.
I feel like this will be a satisfying addition to my life and my level of anticipation can be compared to that Christmas I received a pink Walkman.
I wonder, do I also need an air fryer? I’ve concluded that requesting two household appliances pushes me into behaviour patterns that are way past middle age, especially since I purchased a vacuum cleaner in lockdown.
So these material items aside, my Christmas wish list is as follows..
- I wish to get my Christmas shopping done with plenty of time to spare. So I’m not re-gifting a candle to a teacher, trying to find a park at Marion or lining up outside Haighs.
- I wish that I could purchase just the right amount of wrapping paper. And that I cut it to the correct size the first time. And that I can find the end of the sticky tape.
- I wish that the food I contribute on Christmas Day will be edible. One year I tried to cook a soba noodle salad from Ottolenghi’s cookbook and I over-cooked the noodles so badly that they stirred into a sludge that is still described as Bec’s Christmas porridge.
- I wish for beach weather on repeat.
- You know those magical days when the water is turquoise and sparkly? When you take a book and a mag in your beach bag, set up an umbrella and you’re good to go for the day. Lunch is hot chips and a Frosty Fruit. And you wash the sand off your feet but leave the salt on your skin.
- I wish that every child would have a present to open on Christmas Day. You can donate to The Smith Family and Kickstart for Kids.
- I wish that my children, while on school holidays that seem to last FOREVER, would help out around the house and not argue over who unpacked the dishwasher last time.
- I wish for mangoes, ripe tomatoes, potato salad and beetroot. And my Mum’s special Nuts and Bolts recipe she only ever makes over the Christmas holidays. Nutri-Grain and peanuts, name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait.
- I wish that my plants would not die in the summer heat. (But let’s be honest they die in the cold as well)
- I wish that all the chores I have procrastinated over all year would be done, starting with the cluttered surface that we have labelled “The Desk of Shame” because it is covered with old bills, receipts and ink cartridges and we never tackle it.
- I wish to be able to find the time to work through the pile of partially-read novels that have been on my bedside table all year.
- I wish to be able to find the time to work through all the TV shows everyone has been banging on about this year. Starting with Normal People. Because that is one book I have actually read of late.
- I wish to cut down on Adding to Cart after too much festive cheer. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME, I’M WORTH IT, EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY HAVE VERY SIMILAR SANDALS/BATHERS/SUNNIES FROM LAST YEAR.
- I wish that businesses who’ve done it so tough this year would receive a Christmas bonus as South Australians look to support their own by purchasing local products, food and wine. (If that means I need to keep Adding to Cart, so be it!)
- I wish that the borders will be open.
- At the time of writing, we’ve just had another cluster. I hope that families can be reunited to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year together.
- My wish for next year is pretty simple, that it’s better than this one.
- And my final wish is that all of our KIDDO readers and their families have a happy, safe and healthy Christmas, thank you for your support this year.